Things aren't falling apart, things are falling in place.

I have a lot to write about.

I'm going to start with messages I received from people (who I've chosen to remain anonymous, just in case) over the past couple of days.... all making a significant difference in making my everyday life better. These meant a lot. So, from most recent, here goes.... also with added commentary:

• From someone I dated and stopped talking to.... "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did and what I put you through. I should have been honest but I just didn't know how to deal with the situation, so I'm sorry".

This was from someone who I honestly would've never expected a sincere apology from and I couldn't be more taken by surprise, and/or appreciative of it. I know it's not always easy for everyone to be able to do the right thing.... everybody makes mistakes and nobody is perfect, but not everybody tries to make things right.... But you know what. it's always better late than never. That's all I really wanted, anyway.

• "I'm glad we're friends. I love you and you mean a lot to me. I want you to come over tomorrow and you and I can do something nice together. I'll pay for you gas or whatever. I'd just really like to spend some time with you. You never seem to want to anymore, and I'm feeling less horrible lately and I wish you were around me. You're great".

Together like glue. :)

• In response to when I asked a friend of mine what his opinion is on why guys always seem to run away from me: "It's cause you are pretty inside and out and guys can't handle that".

I don't think I'll ever be able to comprehend why or how things like this are true, but I'm confident that one day someone special will come along and not be scared to put their heart out there and pick apples off of the top of the tree and we'll live happily ever after. Funny, though. I just saw, "He's Just Not That Into You", last night. ....Shockingly true. I have hope for me and I refuse to settle for someone I don't find completely amazing, inside and out and know for sure they feel the same about me. Somewhere out there, there's someone capable of loving me as much as I know I am capable of loving them. I won't settle for anything otherwise.

• "I'm willing to forget about the magic bullet completely just to get to hang out with you again :)".

This is pretty self-explanatory. It made me smile.

Today I thought about how I'm proud of the fact that I don't need anyone to make me happy.... In metaphoric terms, that I already have "the cake" (and this blog is a good example) and I'm able to make it myself, without depending on someone. My cake tastes delicious by itself, sans icing. But when a boy comes along, that's what he'll be.... the icing to my cake. Of course he'll be a delicious addition, but he's not necessary for my cake to still be awesome. Make sense? It does to me.

• Something I appreciated today: A bunch of things. Ariel telling me that I inspired her to make her own "self-happiness" blog, the way outside is starting to smell like Spring, how Tuesday night I drove to loud music with my windows down and wasn't cold, new friends and girl talks.

Today, again I spent my break at school in the book store. I really enjoy it in there. I spent my 2 hours there reading comics. MUCH better than the stupid internet.

• Something I didn't procrastinate doing today: Bought a bunch of stuff from Target I needed to get for school, bought another photo album so I can (hopefully) put the rest of my pictures away.

• Something I'm looking forward to: The best Valentines Day date ever!

• Someone who inspired me today: Lou Koller, who reminded me that the people who I look up to the most and am inspired by are truly into the music I play. If that's not one of the highest feelings of gratification, I don't know what is.
  

There's more I wanted to add, but I should really start writing things down during the course of the day so I don't forget what I'd like to include. I'll pick up with this later!